On Craisins

I didn't eat my snack today. They were yucky.
They were raisins!
But they tasted like Cherries and my mouth got confused.

On playing store

Hmmm, may calculator has no more money in it, but I can give you a whistle.
Wait, you are just a bear. You can't use a whistle.
Ok, I'll play with the whistle and you can listen.

On things you find on a crowded subway

Wow, that's a nice ass.
Excuse me???
That ass, with the girl. It's really nice.
Huh? Where?
(She points). Up there. The ass with the picture of a girl.
Oooooooooooooohhhhh. The AD.

That makes so much more sense now.